Principles Before Purpose

According to Pat Parelli there are eight Principals of natural horse-man-ship: 1) Horse-man-ship is natural, 2) Don't make or teach assumptions, 3) Communication is two or more individuals sharing and understanding an idea, 4) Horses and humans have responsibilities, 5) The attitude of justice is effective, 6) Body language is universal, 7) Horses teach humans and humans teach horses, and 8) Principals, purpose and time are the tools of teaching.

To me, when Pat says "Principals before purpose" it means that the task I set out to do, teach, practice, etc isn't really important. The most important part is how I interact with JJ. For me, as I progress/regress through this horse/human journey I hear all of this "stuff" and I understand what it means intellectually, but for me it doesn't mean anything until I feel it. Only then do I truly understand what he means. One of the hardest for me, my biggest obstacle you might say, is principals before purpose. Why? Because I am task/goal oriented. That's how I accomplish things. I go from A to B, but you can't do that with horses. Actually, you can do that with horses, but you shouldn't, and I don't want too, but it is REALLY, REALLY hard for me not to get focused on the end result. Unfortunately I did do that, and as ugly as it felt, it was a really good lesson, because I finally "felt" what that statement means.

I was at a clinic with JJ, and of course I am focused on the tasks the clinician is having us do, but JJ was having no part in any of it. It felt like I was fighting with him at every turn. I assumed, because of his Left Brain Introvert horsenality, that he was turning his toe up at me and saying, "Now what are you going to do about it?" and I didn't have an answer, which really frustrated me. Did I mention it was 180 degrees out, and I don't do well in the heat? So that didn't help either. The day was split, half in the arena and half on the trail. The half in the arena sucked,and the half on the trail was better, but not by much. Why did it suck? Because I was putting purpose BEFORE principals and I assumed he was his confidant left brain self, when in hindsight, he was really more right brained unconfident, and I pushed him to complete the task. Which he tried to do because, even in his unconfidence he was trying to please me, ugh! And what was I doing? I was getting frustrated and angry! Therefore, making the task more important than him! Double ugh! Bad human! Fortunately he's very forgiving, and I realized my errors. I spoke to the clinician about that day, and she gave me "permission" to take care of my and JJ's relationship while in the clinic, because, as she said, that was part of the class as well. As Pat says " The technique is not important; it's the respect that follows that matters." Amen to that brother!