Principles Before Purpose

According to Pat Parelli there are eight Principals of natural horse-man-ship: 1) Horse-man-ship is natural, 2) Don't make or teach assumptions, 3) Communication is two or more individuals sharing and understanding an idea, 4) Horses and humans have responsibilities, 5) The attitude of justice is effective, 6) Body language is universal, 7) Horses teach humans and humans teach horses, and 8) Principals, purpose and time are the tools of teaching.

To me, when Pat says "Principals before purpose" it means that the task I set out to do, teach, practice, etc isn't really important. The most important part is how I interact with JJ. For me, as I progress/regress through this horse/human journey I hear all of this "stuff" and I understand what it means intellectually, but for me it doesn't mean anything until I feel it. Only then do I truly understand what he means. One of the hardest for me, my biggest obstacle you might say, is principals before purpose. Why? Because I am task/goal oriented. That's how I accomplish things. I go from A to B, but you can't do that with horses. Actually, you can do that with horses, but you shouldn't, and I don't want too, but it is REALLY, REALLY hard for me not to get focused on the end result. Unfortunately I did do that, and as ugly as it felt, it was a really good lesson, because I finally "felt" what that statement means.

I was at a clinic with JJ, and of course I am focused on the tasks the clinician is having us do, but JJ was having no part in any of it. It felt like I was fighting with him at every turn. I assumed, because of his Left Brain Introvert horsenality, that he was turning his toe up at me and saying, "Now what are you going to do about it?" and I didn't have an answer, which really frustrated me. Did I mention it was 180 degrees out, and I don't do well in the heat? So that didn't help either. The day was split, half in the arena and half on the trail. The half in the arena sucked,and the half on the trail was better, but not by much. Why did it suck? Because I was putting purpose BEFORE principals and I assumed he was his confidant left brain self, when in hindsight, he was really more right brained unconfident, and I pushed him to complete the task. Which he tried to do because, even in his unconfidence he was trying to please me, ugh! And what was I doing? I was getting frustrated and angry! Therefore, making the task more important than him! Double ugh! Bad human! Fortunately he's very forgiving, and I realized my errors. I spoke to the clinician about that day, and she gave me "permission" to take care of my and JJ's relationship while in the clinic, because, as she said, that was part of the class as well. As Pat says " The technique is not important; it's the respect that follows that matters." Amen to that brother!

Dave Bought A Horse!

It's been a while since my last post and a lot has happened! When I last posted, we were still leasing Sassy, and I thought JJ was on the mend. Wrong on both counts! Dave bought a 7 yr old quarter horse from my trainer, and is not only taking lessons, but is reading Pat Parelli's Natural Horse*Man*Ship. He is also watching my Parelli DVDs!!

Like all good cowboy names, the horses' name is Red. Red, because he's a sorrel (red) horse. Thank goodness he didn't have warts, because...well, they'd have named him wart! Red will stay at Sandi's ranch until the last weekend in Feb as Sandi would like for Dave and Red to get to know each other a little better before we bring him home. She also wanted to finish his training. Red was trained by one of Sandi's students (who did an excellent job, BTW), and Sandi saw a couple of things that still needed to be worked on, so she very generously offered to keep Red at her ranch while she did this. In addition to Red's training, she gave Dave a 50% discount on lessons for the month if he goes 2x's per week, which he is!!! Meanwhile, I get to pay full price. Go figure. Anyway, he has now begun his own human/horse journey, and I think it will be a really good one.

A Perfect Day For A Beach Ride

Do I look happy or what? (Isn't he the best looking horse you've ever seen?) Here we are on the beach for our first "trail" ride in a couple of weeks. It was the first ride of the season for MBE (Monterey Bay Equestrians) and it was G-R-E-A-T!!!! Even though it rained into the the early morning the weather cooperated and it was sunny and a little warm. The waves calmed down and we had a wonderful ride on the beach. We took the back trail with another MBE member, meaning instead of going straight to the beach we took the back trail through the dunes. It's about a mile, and it helps get the horses a little tired and ready for the scary waves, birds, and...driftwood. (That's the scariest of all.) We rode for about an hour and a half, and then enjoyed the company of fellow riders from MBE. I have been a member of MBE for 2 years and this was only the 2nd ride I'd been on (Shameful!). There was a a pot luck so we had a chance to get to know the some of the other members. I added Dave to my membership and now he can "officially" go to all of our rides. From my observation that day they are a great bunch of people who like to ride, and I think we're going to have a great year on the trail. JJ was awesome. He was calm and willing and amazingly left brain for most of the ride. The beach was eroded and narrow in places, and he went on even though he was skeptical. Sassy was a little more right brain. She was okay when it was just the two horses, but she was VERY un-confidant and protective of her herd when the other horse was with us. The other rider left us about half way through the ride. That's when she finally calmed down. When we got back to the trailer we took care of the horses before making our way to the pot luck. We left the horses tied to the trailer and they were gems. The stood quietly, and JJ even took his afternoon nap. We are so lucky to live where we do and to have these 2 amazing horses. What a perfect day!

Dinner Time!

Who says "It never rains in California."? We've had 2 weeks of rain, and I have 2 mud balls hanging out in their paddocks. We're trying to get the grass to grow in the lower pasture, so I haven't been letting the horses down there. However, last weekend we had a break between storms, and they had their noses pressed against the gate saying "Open, open, open." Since it was close to feeding time anyway, I decided to let them out while I did my barn chores, and got their "dinner" ready. Usually, they are hyper aware of feeding time, and hang out by the gate waiting for me to call them in. Not this day. They made a bee-line for the lower part of the pasture and stayed there. It's a bit of a walk to the lower part of the pasture, and since Parelli says "Don't catch your horse, make your horse catch you." and being the savvy girl I am, I have trained JJ to come to me when I whistle. It wasn't hard. Since he's a food-aholiach, all I had to do was give him a cookie when he came to me every time I whistled for him and pretty soon even he was charging up the hill. (Come to think of it, that's the only time he runs, other than when he's scared, and that dosen't count.) After I finish my chores and am ready to head in I whistle for the horses. Nothing. I can't eve see them. I walk over the hill to a spot where I can see them and whistle again. JJ picks up his head to look at me, and then continues to graze. Sooo, I whistle again. This time Sassy looks up and starts to trot towards me. Her movement gets JJ's attention and he starts charging up the hill towards me. Now, it's dusk and horses don't have real good depth perception, so I'm not real sure if they can see me. I start jumping up and down making a bit of a ruckus (the neighbors must love me) to make sure they see me. Well they charge right past me to, I thought their paddock. But no, they circle around and head back down the lower pasture. As I was standing there watching them go it made me think of being a kid, playing outside and having mom call me in for supper. Sometimes, I ran to the lower end of the pasture and pretened not to hear her call because it felt so good just to be outside.

Cult Parelli!!!

I found out I was part of a "Cult" today. I was googling some information about a Parelli supplement when I mistakenly opened up a forum that had been discussing barefoot trimming, and someone in that forum made a reference to Parelli. Of course that peaked my interest so, I read some more of the discussion, and one of the "members" referred to a woman at her barn as a "Parelli cult member." Whoa (excuse the pun)! Of course that got me thinking about whether or not I actually was in a cult because, typically, people who are in a cult emphatically deny the fact that they are in a cult. (Talk about "circular reference"!) So I asked Dave if he thought Parelli was a cult and he said , "Oh, hell yes, but it's more like a corporate cult." (again WTF?) This got me to thinking about what drew me to Parelli as opposed to any of the other trainers that I was watching on RFD TV, because let's face it, that's where I was getting my horse fix when I didn't have a horse. And of course that thought took me back to my little Puerto Rican pony, Leah. It was that year and a half that I got to spend with her that formed my image of the "Horse/Human relationship. When I got JJ and started working with a "normal" trainer, and competing in Gymkhana's I thought I was looking for the camaraderie I had with the people I did those things with in PR, but what I didn't understand UNTIL I found Parelli was, I wasn't looking to have relationships with people. I was looking for the relationship I had with that little horse. Parelli says I need to understand 6 keys which are; Attitude, Knowledge, Tools, Techniques, Time and Imagination, and the 8 responsibilities of natural horse-man ship. Of Knowledge he says "Humans teach horses, and horses teach humans." And that's what Leah did. She was a gem and I miss her everyday. She taught me that horses will love you and protect you and care for you. If you let them, they will partner with you, and form a bond that, to this day still holds strong and true. That is what I was looking for when got JJ. I just didn't know it. I thought it was all that other stuff. I knew when working with the trainer, and doing Gymkhana that "something" was missing. It just didn't feel right. When I found Parelli, and finally committed to the program, I knew that it would help me find my way back to that time when I was naive enough to just jump on any old horse and go for a ride. Parelli isn't a cult, it's just a grown-up way of trying to get you to be a kid again.

It Was A Good Start

It's been a while since my last blog. Christmas was crazy busy. All the kids were home for the Holidays for the first time in 5 years. It was wonderfully hectic and busy, and over too quick. On the way home from the airport after dropping the last kid off, I thought about how quiet the house would seem, and it dawned on me that, hey, I can go and play with my horses. I decided to take Sassy out and play with her. Since one of the goals in my lessons with Sandi is for me to have the confidence to ride a horse other than JJ. Therefore, I thought it would be a good idea to, maybe do at home what I'm paying a trainer for. It was a great lesson for us both. She's a lot more sensitive than JJ, and way more energetic. While I have a hard time getting the J-man to move his feet, Sassy's feet are in constant motion. Just the walk from the barn to the round pen was a big change for me. On our way down, we stopped at the gate, and the game was, she had to keep her feet still while I opened the gate, and to then wait for my direction indicating she could walk through the gate opening. We also played the "yo-yo' game with her standing on one side of the open gate and me on the other side. I drew her to me then backed her up through the gate opening several times. She did really well. She's a dancer, and this was really good practice for her. She learned to keep her feet still, and her focus on me. WOW! It took me months to understand this concept with JJ. (Poor guy). Once at the round pen we played a lot of friendly game. She really responds well to kind words. She likes it when she's told she's a good girl. She really reacts well to, and seems to really like praise. She's starting to come out of her shell. She's starting to bond with us, and to trust us. It's so amazing to see her let her guard down and to give us a glimpse of her "real" self. She's such a sweet, smart, willing horse. And to see her play drive start to emerge is so great. When we first got her, I would hold the hoof pick up so she could see it and maybe get an idea of what it was I was going to do. She wouldn't even look at it. Now she's looking at, and smelling the things I hold up to her. She's just barely beginning to actually nudge or mouth the object I'm holding up for her. I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but it's a really big step for her. I also rode her, and that was a really big step for me, but she made it easy. And, OMG she is a wonderful horse to ride. At first, she was anticipating my wants and it was kind of like riding a bike for the first time. Remember when your dad finally took the training wheels off of your 2 wheeler and you wobbled down the street. That's what she was like. Left,right,left,right,left,right...you get the picture. Finally, I took a deep breath and let it out just to quite my mind and she kinda took the hint. She settled down, waited for me and we practiced the exaggerate turns I learned from Sandi. It was a good start.

It's Going To Be A Really Good Year

I had my first lesson with Sandi Parker, and it was all and more than I expected it to be. In fact, I've committed to lessons twice a month! It took me longer than I expected to get to her place, so I was late (so sorry!), but she was great and we got started. I didn't bring my boy because I wanted to concentrate on my abilities and not worry about him. She put me on this little guy named "Rocket" which, if I would have thought about it, I might have been a little apprehensive about because of his name. But he proved to be a very good boy, and showed me the truth about my riding skills. We started with the basics and she assessed my skills and abilities. After the lesson I felt I would progress at a much faster rate and with better results with her as my trainer, rather than trying to learn everything using the DVD's alone. She encouraged me to connect with Parelli people, and I told her that I had joined the Bay Area Savvy Players (BASP). Their first meeting will be on Thurs, Jan 14, and I am really looking forward to it. I am also a member of the Monterey Bay Equestrians (MBE), and our first ride is scheduled for Sat, Jan 23rd. It's a beach ride and potluck. I have a feeling it's going to be a really good year.